This is the story of a girl

What Flavor Jelly Bean Are You?



apparently i am a green apple jelly bean
alright
anyway
i hate
and i mean ABSOLUTELY HATE
goddamn bugs
and it has been the month of fucking bugs
first i have the stare down of the fucking century with this enormous goddamn centipide of my cousins ceiling, i almost fucking shit myself when i saw it, she screamed and i didnt think it was possible for a human being to hit a note that high, then i saw what she was screaming at and proceeded to go a note higher, this fucker was like 2 maybe 3 inches long and this horrendus rust orange color [shudders] so then my cousin is like "Shit shit shit, you stay here and watch it" and im like "Watch what? This big-ass mother fucker eat me? Fuck you!" so she leaves me there, paralized with fear, staring at this fucker and his little feelers are all feeling around, so great me and Mongo the fucking centipide are staring each other down and this genius comes back with the vaccum looks up and screams again [shes fucking brilliant] then plugs in the vaccum and tries to suck up Mongo but he is not having any of it, he starts trucking as fast as he can across the ceiling but his ass is half in the vaccum hose, and then my cousin jutts her hand foreword catching Mongo in the hose and thus ending the most intense minute and a half of my life [im convinced that Mongos family is going to kill my cousin in her sleep, and shes convinced that Mongos not dead and is going to crawl out of the vaccum and eat her in her sleep, either way im good, cause i did nothing wrong HA!]
next to my spider incedent
ok so im taking a bath cause im cold and sick and all stressed out, so im just realxing in the tub, when what do spy lowering itself from the fucking ceiling just above the toilet, next to the tub, the biggest yellow spider i have ever seen in my entire 18 almost 19 years of existence, but i couldnt scream, i wanted to but instead this little pathetic squeak came out and i just froze, staring at it lower itself on to the curtains, the whole time im thinking "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH oh shit oh shit oh shit!!!! its sooo gross, oh shit oh shit oh shit!!!!" wonderful i take a bath to releave some stress and now im cowering in the bath tub, great, awesome, so after the spider goes behind the curtain i jump out of the tub grab my clothes and go in my room. I didnt go to the bathroom for 2 days
and now to the most recent
i was in my room eairlier today rockin out to the radio when i decided that i wanted to go in the living room to watch tv, but it had been really cold in my house all day and at that moment i was feeling rather chilly so i grabbed my blanket and in doing so i knocked over a glass that at one point in time held red kool-aid, which i had thought to be empty and so thought nothing of it being on the floor, well later that day when i returned to my room, no longer cold and wanting to put away my blanket, i remember the cup and went to pick it up and what to my shock and horror do i find? Oh only about 30 fucking ants! i could of pissed myself right there i was so freaked out, but you should be proud of me cause instead of just screaming like an idiot until someone came and got rid of them i actually picked up the cup and ran to the bathroom and sent those bastards to a watery grave in the sink, cause i am a vengeful bitch and since they scared me i wanted to watch them die drowning in the sink and i also sprayed them with hairspray so their legs stuck together so the could crawl up the sides of the sink, fuck with me you little 6 legged sonsofbitches
goddamnit i hate bugs
i just do not trust anything with more than four legs
i just dont
thats just not right
so what else?
well i could write for hours about shit that i have been thinking about since i last updated like what? 80 fucking years ago?
i was sick
really fucking sick for a while there
almost ended up in the hospital
almost had to call an ambulance
but i have no health insurance
and no money
so i told my mom no
i can handle pain
im not afraid of dying [although it wouldnt have come to that, it wasnt that serious]
in fact i think it was almost good for me
it allowed me to cry
something i havent done in months
it wasnt a serious cry 
just a "this really fucking hurts, make it stop" kind cry
about a minute long
which was a minute too long cause i fucking hate crying
it makes me feel so weak
and not only that
it makes me feel stupid
but anyway
anything serious or "heavy" im not gunna talk about here
if anyone wants to talk about stuff like that
you all know how to reach me
although i will say this
i hate talking on the phone
id rather talk in person or if failing that i guess maybe im
but in person is really the only way ill ever talk about anything serious concerning my thoughts and feelings or others for that matter
because i just feel that that is the only real way to get a point across
even if your like me and studder a lot
as just a final small reminder

X-3 COMES OUT THIS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[GEEKGASM]


[{ I haven't slept since I woke up and found out my whole life was a LIE motherfucker}]



p.s. i feel bad today. really bad. shitty. remorseful. if i have hurt you in any way just know that im sorry. i really am.